Truth is, I had been planning and mentally preparing all semester for the moment when I would have to stand-up in front of a class of university students and present as a guest lecturer on ‘gender and sexuality.’
Since it was to be an introductory class of first year sociology students, I had been planning on using clips from popular shows like ‘queer as folk’ or ‘the L word,’ however when I asked some students from the class – “what media examples should I use”? they all seemed to want to point me in the direction of ‘Sex and The City.’
The students told me that because of Sex and The City, sexuality and gender have become popularized and have even entered mainstream discourse. Okay, fine, I can buy that – it’s because of ‘Sex and The City’ that smaller centers, like Thunder Bay, have been exposed to a world of sex, sexuality, sensuality, gender, gender bending, homosexuality… My question is, why is it that a show like ‘queer as folk’ and ‘the L word,’ not to mention the movie ‘kinky boots’ 
have not found their way onto the shelves of my favorite local film rental store? Therefore I had been forced by availability to use ‘Sex and The City’ as my class discussion fuel. I see that therein lay’s a keystone of subjectivity and context – for here – in Thunder Bay, it had been recommended to me by students – that Sarah J. Parker and her band of sexually ‘in tune’ deviates would be an impactful place to begin a discussion of gender and sexuality.The fact of the matter is, my plans for a guest lecture spot were put on an indefinite hiatus when my supervisor informed me that the class was behind a few lectures. Okay, I guess I can wait, but I was kind of excited, I was starting to plan it all out – but alas – change is the only constant.
Two days after I received the news that I would not be delivering a prepared guest lecture, I was informed by a phone message left on my answering machine that ______ is not well, and that I was to take over until the end of the semester, three classes remained.
The class I was to cover for was not the 83-person intro class, rather it was a nice 20-person class – The sociology of Aging
– a third year offering. All I had to do was make some sense out a folder that had been handed, and then handed to me by way of a familial courier. The folder contained notes and transparencies for the overhead projector. Hmm, it sounded to me like this was not exactly the opportunity that I had been waiting for, I would not be delivering a crafted lecture and leading any discussion on heated issues. Instead it was my job to simply deliver the information in the folder to the students by way of overhead projector – needless to say – this was not the way I had imagined my instructorial debut. My dreams had been filled with engaging discussion and conversation on a plethora of issues and ideas – in effect – a discourse. Instead, what I had been asked to do here was refrain from ingenuity and simply allow the students to sit placidly their hands trembling from the tedium of copying notes displayed at the front of the room.I did manage to add in some of my own flavor, as I read out the expletives I would often pause to relate the issue at hand to a varied example – or else stop and in effect cause a stop in the ‘copying’ process to slap the water, as a beaver who alerts all those in the vicinity to a perceived danger. I hoped to rustle some feather, stir the pot… get some discussion happening. The most effective method that I employed to cause this amorphous body of students to engage, the precursor to participate, was to call for a round-table discussion. As is often the case in a ‘classroom’ setting, nobody moves until the ‘perceived one in charge’ makes a move – so I started turning desks around and forming a circle, the shells started to show signs of cracking. This was great, by the time we were all facing each other I could see on the faces in-front of me that – this was going to be good, and, it was.
Was I nervous?
Hell yeah, just thinking about stepping in front of a class of students that are used to a specific instructor and specific flow – in a sense I was to become an interruption in proven method. So yes, I was nervous, but I also decided that no matter what happened I was there to have fun and interact as much as possible. I can’t necessarily simulate what went on in the class, but I can say that I did receive a handful of positive comments from students who could obviously sense my nervousness. I even had a some positive conversations with a few of the ‘mature’ students, they gave me credit for attempting to get some of the younger students to speak out and comment. These ‘mature’ students felt that these ‘new students’ needed some real encouragement to speak out and say their thoughts, they figured that the young students were anxious about speaking out – for fear of being thought of as ‘unintelligent.’ The mature students figured that the sooner the young students understood that the opportunity to engage in classroom discussion was a privilege like no other – and that they should be taking every advantage of it –“these kids need to learn that, being asked for your opinion, and giving it- really does matter.” I couldn’t help but agree.
As for this early experience of classroom dynamics and being ‘in charge,’ I am quite satisfied with the way I handled myself – and thanks to some influential teachers like Sharon Rosenberg and Karen Engle – and ‘Freire’ I was able to situate myself – my bodied experience – as a catalyst for discussion and engagement in a classroom setting. I am avidly aware of the position of power I entered the room with, as am I aware of my efforts to stimulate percolative dialogue.
End TransmissionA.
